With the passing of another valentine’s day, I thought about what it is to be in a relationship, what it is to be part of a couple. And then I thought about this saying, “Some people are meant to be alone.” I first heard this on an episode of Ally McBeal years ago, and even then that line stood out for me and stays with me to this day. There was something about the melancholy truth to it that made some sort of sense to me. People are brought up to believe that there’s someone out there for everyone. That there’s a prince for every little girl who will become a woman and a princess for every little boy who will grow into a man. The truth is that just isn’t the case. Some people in this world were meant to take life’s journey alone. I’ve always felt that I was one of those people.
Now more than ever I feel that way. I don’t believe there’s someone out there waiting for me. I don’t believe I’ll ever find true love in all of its technicolor, sweet, giddy, gooey goodness…and I’m okay with that. Now some would see this and deem it tragic. ‘How can one think such things,’ someone might ask themselves. In actuality, in my thinking anyway, there are far worst things to be then alone. There’s being stuck in a relationship you can’t get out of with someone you don’t want to be with anymore. There’s being homeless and not knowing where your next meal is coming from. There’s being in jail and having no freedom or a true sense of free will. Those are just a few examples of being worse off then being alone.
Now of course no one wants to be alone, not even me. Its human nature to want to be connected to another person, to feel wanted and loved and needed. But wanting and needing are two very different things. Do I want to have someone to call my own? Of course. Do I need someone to call my own? No. A lot of people, especially in today’s society have this idea that in order to find true happiness, there needs to be a significant other, someone to, for a lack of better phrase, complete them. There are people who worry and want so much to find that someone, to get married and have that feeling of completion that it drives them to the point of misery. Or forces them to make choices they ordinarily wouldn’t make. I used to be like that so I know of what I speak. But it was only until after I had finally learned to let go of that idea that one needs another for life to be good, for it to be fulfilling, that I found the misery and worry that had dogged me, stopped weighing down on me so.
I believe that each person is responsible for their own happiness. Now outside forces, like people, pets, projects, work, vacation or whatever may enhance that happiness, but ultimately it’s up to the individual to get true happiness out of life and not grant others the power over that happiness. The essence of what I’m trying to say is if you are lucky enough to find someone, then you should cherish that person and hold onto them as tight and for as long as you can, but don’t let the fear or idea of that person leaving you interfere with your life. If you work at it and the two of you are truly meant to be, there won’t be a problem.
And to those who don’t have anyone, by all means, look and see what you can find, but don’t let worry or fear of not finding anyone stop you from living your life the way you want and letting happiness enter it.